


This is War

by MooredMermaid



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: BAMF Q, Q is a Holmes, Reichenbach-Related
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:52:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3528401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooredMermaid/pseuds/MooredMermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q and 00s bored<br/>Moneypants and Tanner must fix before MI6 explodes again<br/>Note Sherlock season 2 maybe 3<br/>Note: neither Sherlock or James Bond in anyway belong to me</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Idea

_ The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.-Arthur Schopenhauer _

It was a perfectly normal day like almost any other in Q Branch except for two things. 1) All 00s were in the country as of three weeks before, which is strange because 00s are only in the country at a max. of four at a time so having all those alpha personalities with a pendant for both the impossible and explosions sometimes both at once is a cause for alarm in and of itself. 2) Q branch was almost silent with no clicking of minions or the Overlord on keys, no explosions , minions yelling at 00s(007 and 006 even worse when they go on mission together) for various things( blowing up buildings that were NOT to be destroyed or destroying tech that the minions spent large quantities of time creating, etc.), no flirting between 00s and minions(the conversations that sent the minions either watching in awe of how their Quartermaster handled his agents when 007 or 006 had broken yet another piece of his carefully designed tech /flirting with him or worse one of the newer minions or interns whom had yet to receive the hands off warning from their colleges or scrambling for a hiding place from the wrath filled gaze of Q and the a fared mentioned agents were presumed dead again , and no action of any kind other than the actions of the normal MI6 agents working within mission guidelines. Both Q Branch and 00s bored along with a Quartermaster with a reputation for becoming increasingly eccentric when bored, after all that is how MI6 got him to begin with( he was bored and spammed M with fanfiction written by agents about her , the Major and 007, also Nylon Cat videos and Grumpy Cat memes because it was funny)

When M learned of the situation she told Moneypenny and Tanner to find a way to entertain the other for a short time without them actually killing anyone they were not directed to kill. Tanner and Eve attempted to find a way to distract the aforementioned especially 006 and 007 those two have a history with boredom along with explosives from basically everywhere they go, including their apartments among others. Tanner had an epiphany as he watched the 00s challenge Q to a shoot off in the range.

Q took the challenge to relieve at least some of the tension from his body at having nothing to do. He took the gun and shifted both his stance and grip as he took in the placating expressions of the 00s surrounding him. He turned to the firing line which was clear after the 00s heard the challenge from 0013 who was relatively new to the program after the previous 0013 died in a volcano six months before. (That is a story for another time how the former 0013 died with Q on his coms.)

The other double Os had wondered about their Quartermaster's prowess before with weapons seeing if his claims held true with a simple firearm interesting, to say the least, if anything they can say they have seen a part of the Quartermaster that 006 and 007 haven't yet seen. The experience would be worth it just to see their reactions to the news of how well the Quartermaster _performed._ Before grabbing the gun Q put two magazines in his pockets with a full clip in them. When the Quartermaster fired the Walter, he stepped backward after firing each shot without pausing and fired again until he was out of bullets in all clips. He had hit the bulls-eye perfectly in the center, one shot on top of another through the hole made by the first bullet with no deviation seen as the hole was perfectly round with no differences in how big the hole was supposed to be any way. Tanner and Moneypenny looked on slack-jawed by the shooting skills of the college-age ,cardigan-wearing boy wearing bottle thick glasses. The agents who were well trained in controlling all expressions they didn't wish to have merely blinked, but that blink was an OMG from any other person.

Tanner regained his composure faster than Moneypants and told her I have an idea to kill three birds with one stone. Moneypenny replied A) It is two birds not three and B)how are we going to convince M to allow non-washable paint in the workplace. Tanner gave her a look saying that he was unsure of both her sanity and how she passed the Psych eval. (same way everyone else did theirs Q sends out a copy of the questions to all the exec.s, the 00s, and people with power in all but name i.e. Moneypenny. He explained that he was referring to the following objectives, 1)Keep 00s occupied, 2) Keep Q and Minions occupied, 3) allow no one to die on this endeavor. Now he gave Moneypenny a look informing her it was now her time to share. Moneypenny said how else are we going to make sure that no one cheats and washes the paint off themselves. Tanner gives her a confused look. Moneypenny sighs and says weren't you going to say let them duke it out in a paintball war allowing everyone to keep their skills sharp and a distraction from them taking over the world one hacked government/terrorist group, or explosion of things never meant to be exploded at a time? Tanner simply says I was going to suggest a shoot off competition and allow Q branch to create a TARDIS if they can (I pray they can't yet), your suggestion will keep them busy from a longer period of time and if anything we can keep my plan as plan B. Pray that if both our plans are exhausted that SOMETHING has happened to keep one or both groups busy and out of the boredom zone. "Just as a note ",Moneypenny stated in a calm manner, "if Q turns Evil Overlord on us he will be followed by the Minions who worship him already and the 00s who would follow him simply for his gadgets and the adrenaline sure to follow setting Q off on his own without any rules or guidelines as he calls them, so if we do my plan we should be on his team".


	2. Pitched

_"The first draft is just you telling yourself the story."-Terry Pratchett_

 

When Moneypenny and Tanner had finished discussing their plan to prevent MI6's and therefore England's self-destruction they had failed to take in account the lateness of the hour when they were finished scheming. When they realized that the clocks had left midnight some time ago, Tanner suggested that they wait till a more appropriate hour to inform M of their plan. So they agreed to meet back at MI6 in front of M's office at 8:30 a.m. in a few short hours so that they may recharge for the coming days. By the time that the four short hours between their leaving for home and meeting in front of M's office , he had quite a few meetings with the directors of various agencies throughout the world complaining of the mischief that his Quartermaster had been getting into on his watch these agencies were not limited to the CIA, FBI,MI5, KIngsmen, Interpol and many more from all corners of the world. M requested proof of any wrongdoing or any involvement in their systems at by his agency. The directors could not produce any proof and were systematically warned to waste no more of their or more valuably his for trivial requests that have no backing to them.

When Tanner and Moneypenny came in M was rubbing his head as if trying to ward off an approaching headache and failing in the attempt. He looked up at them and told them they had better had a plan to distract all of Q-Branch and the 00s or he might just use them as target practice to warn off any more misbehavior from at least the Minions because the Quartermaster or Overlord only left behind the proof his wished in order to leave a message and nothing that could ever lead back to him. They informed him of their plan to have all of MI6 participate in an epic paintball war throughout the building with each sector against everyone else. M just gave them a disbelieving stare as if to say that his best agents and Chief of Staff could only come up with a plan that a fair few of companies employed all over the world to bring the company together. They assured him that theirs would be better than all others put together. They would have Q-Branch develope all weapons allowed with the agents testing all to maintain no cheating along  with the non-washable paint balls that would be randomly assigned to each division and in case of 00s each 00 would have their own color to make sure that no arguments could be had over who killed who.

M was slightly impressed with their planning for all outcomes in a few short ideas ,but wanted to know if all departments included finance,catering,tech support, and the other various departments and if so would the divisions be divided how they are now or how they were before Q rearranged everything after his coming to power? For the one day all departments would be divided how they were before Q ,but the 00s and Q-Branch are under no circumstances allowed to be together for the match it would allow even the smallest chance of winning to the other departments.

So we are agreed on how to get everyone out of a rut and back into creating progress again? Yes ,and we have a backup plan to allow Q-Branch to attempt to create a TARDIS and the 00s to design a fort of epicness to attempt to enter one after the other and take down the building without injuring themselves or to beat Q with all the various weapons that he has revealed to hold all the tops scores on the range with any and all weaponry.

So when do we put our first plan in action immediately and we tell no one except Q and we don't inform him of the reasons we require the technology. He could just hack us that's why nothing has been recorded in this office since you coming in and this mission won't be put on our servers or in an obvious place to hide the file also it will be under Q's passcodes not any of ours. Mission Playground is a go! Wow that is a horrible codename Tanner. Let's see you come up with something better Moneypenny! I can't think of anything now,now Tanner...

Let us just set the mental date of the battle in two weeks time at noon. There now ,go send Q to my office to inform him of his new tasks and that he isn't to say anything to anyone not even his favorites. Or his MInions of their newest tasks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I'm a high school senior this year and trying to apply for college, scholarships ,along with trying to stay on top of all sorts of other tasks is not keeping me writing for ya'll. Just add a comment if I haven't updated in at least a week to remind me that someone wants/ is willing to read this story. Sorry about the shortness of this chapter ,but will probably edit and add more to this within the next could of days.

**Author's Note:**

> Characters will covered in paint and tears at some point if I continue with my current idea. (maybe music will show up?)  
> Please be kind ,this is the first of my work that I've posted anywhere. You guys are also the first people to read any of my writing besides english teachers and for essays. I do want suggestions and critiques to improve my writing. If you have suggestions plotwise just message me and/or tell me in the comments. I will try to keep up with any/all comments. Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it. Any questions just message/comment.  
> Any references to pop culture aren't owned or created by me.


End file.
